Non-Identifying Information

I first wrote for my non-identifying information when I was in my early 20s. The response I received from the Los Angeles Department of Children's Services was 3 pages in length, disclosing very little information.

The final line indicated that my birthmother requested a picture of me at the time of placement and had not contacted the agency again. This resonated deep within my soul and as I recall, I cried over it for several weeks.

Quite a few years later as I was reviewing the information, it appeared that there was some sort of typographic error. The age information that was included did not coincide with the "story" explaining why I was given up. I decided to contact the agency again to request that they "clear up" this misinformation.

Not long after sending the letter off, I received a phone call from a woman at the agency who was handling my request. She indicated that it could take anywhere from 6 months to 2 years to receive my file from the archives. She was right. Nearly 18 months later, I received a call from her again, informing me that she had my file and was preparing a response.

I anxiously awaited the arrival of this new information. The day it arrived at the post office box is a day I will never forget. My hands shook as I opened the envelope to reveal a very detailed, 8-page letter. In addition to a wealth of information beyond what I could have ever imagined, this kind woman had included two photographs of me (one at about 3 months and the other at approximately 6 months of age ). I was overwhelmed by emotion and began to weep. You see, I was adopted at 10 months of age, and that was when the photographic history of my life began. I had never seen myself younger than 10 months old.

It is one of my persnoal goals to locate this woman and attempt to share with her how much I appreciate the time, care and concern she took to include so many details about my early life. While they might have seemed minor or insignificant to someone else, they meant the world to me. This angel gave me as much information as was legally possible without jeopardizing anyone's anonymity.


One of the most valuable and precious pieces of information in the letter was the names of my half siblings, Candance, Rebecca, Robin and Robert. All of my life growing up, I wanted a brother. I used to imagine how he would have taken care of me and watched out for me. I was the oldest in our family and other than my parents, there was no one there to lead and guide me. My parents were great, and obviously very wise; however, it is not the same as having an older sibling who "has your back". My brother was only 2 years older than me and I instantly knew that we would have been close.

The excitement of receiving this new information ignited a fervent search for my birthfamily, especially my big brother! At that time I was married to my ex-husband and living in Palm Desert. A friend of his was living with us and he had a computer with internet access. I signed up for an e-mail account and began my search. I had no idea where it would lead me or if I would ever find anything.

What would I find? Did they know about me? Would they be happy, angry, or sad? What would I say? Could I handle it? Only time would tell.